Sometimes, it is difficult to ask for help, no matter how old you are. Children like to show that they are independent and do not need to ask someone to help them; while parents that are aging might feel like a burden and a bit embarrassed to ask their children for the help that they might need. Wondering if you’re putting your child under too much stress to bring you to doctor’s appointments, or to help with house work and medications might feel like too much for some. However, your children love you and they will always understand that sometimes, people just need a little help. You were there for them, and now they can be there for you.
Here are some tips to making asking your children for help a bit easier on you, and on them when that extra help is necessary:
- Proceed with Caution – You want to let them know you need help, but ask politely. When you go to ask them, speak with them first about any issues that might be going on. Clear the air first. Discuss important topics first. You want to keep communication open with them, and not demand.
- Always Ask – Even if you’re feeling a bit reluctant about asking them, know that asking hasn’t hurt anyone before. They will be more than happy to help you with things that need to be done. Often times, people want to help and don’t know where to start. Ask for assistance. They may be very happy to help!
- You are not a Burden – They are your children. They want to be there for you in your times of need, just like you were for them when they needed you. They love you unconditionally, as you do them. Why would you feel like you’re a burden when you ask them for simple favors?
- Be Honest With Them – Everyone likes a little honesty. You can start the difficult conversations and model the honesty that you desire from them. You can let them know the situation, and that you’re unable to do these things on your own. They will understand, and might even offer to help, without having you have to ask.
- Be Nice About it – You want to be gentle when asking for help. This is always the best way to approach it. Even when frustrated, asking kindly is always better received than anger. Just let them know what you’re going through, and kindly ask them to be of some assistance for you. Many times, being angry with something, or even with yourself, and taking it out on them will complicate the situation further.
While some of these tips might not apply to you, it is always good to keep them in the back of your mind. You want them to be there for you, but you also do not want to put too much strain on them. Have them help, but also seek other methods of help, as well so that they can have a break too. They will always be there when you need them, because they love you.